We’ve all seen this advice. And it disturbs me when people use it to justify something shady.
Here’s what it’s not …
It’s not a (wink-wink) justification to fraudulently claim some skill, or some authority, even though you don’t really have it. Sure, you want it. You plan on having it someday. And, the justification goes, everyone embellishes a little bit. You know – maybe your resume implies that you were the project lead on that multi-million dollar global project. But you weren’t. You did participate, though. And you learned a lot. So, why not embellish a little? Everyone does it. Right?
Or maybe you plan on being a member of the executive team. Someday. And you see how others defer to them. So, you decide to fake it. You go into the procurement office and tell them you were talking with ‘Susan’ (an Executive Vice President) and she suggested that you should get some new tech tools to advance your project. The implication is that Susan suggested it. In fact, Susan did not. But, faking it, you tell the procurement officer to “make that happen, okay?”
These examples are not what ‘fake it ’til you make it’ is about.
They’re just fraud.
This phrase actually has a noble and beneficial purpose.
Have you ever heard of ‘imposter syndrome’?
Most of us have gone through it. It’s where you lack self-confidence. You’re convinced that you’re not really worthy of some honor. Or not worthy of some legitimate authority that you’ve been given. Maybe you’ve just been promoted over your peers. Deep down, you may be convinced that you somehow didn’t really earn it. And you’re not worthy.
Well, of course, you are worthy.
You’re often simply comparing your own readiness to others who have been in similar roles for years. Of course, if you compare yourself to them, you’re going to come up a little short. Well, they weren’t ready when they were first promoted, either. It’s something you have to work your way into.
Here’s where the phrase comes in.
Your feelings often guide your actions.
And, equally important, your actions often guide your feelings.
Want to feel happier? Start smiling at other people. The simple act of smiling at others will probably put you in a better mood.
That’s what ‘fake it ’til you make it’ is all about.
It means to pretend that you’re self-confident. Do the things that self-confident people do. And, in this way, you will actually start generating self-confidence.
It doesn’t help to agonize that you’re not ready (for something). Of course you’re not as ready as you would like to be. No one ever is. It’s all part of the process.
You can make it a little easier on yourself, though, by choosing to project an image of self-confidence rather than an image of uncertainty and fear.
That’s what ‘fake it ’til’ you make it’ is all about.
And if you see guidance from others who use this phrase to justify improper shortcuts or unethical behavior, know that it doesn’t work. You will be found out.
Successful people don’t take shortcuts. They put in the work and earn their opportunities. Then, when the opportunity presents itself, they take it. And they grow into the role.
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